Countdowns

Warning: This is an "I can't sleep and have nothing better to do" post. It may not be interesting, because I am really bored. But, as I was laying in bed, I was thinking about the time that has passed.

It' been almost 2 months since Brian left for Niger. Anyone that has been around me in these last 2 months knows that I miss him like crazy. But, also, that his leaving is helping to prepare me for my own departure: watching him pack, saying good-bye, but especially getting news from him. I've gotten a few letters, have been able to call him a few times, and have seen a few pictures of him posted on Facebook. From all I can gather, he is having the time of his life. It's also been about 2 months since Scotty left for Guinea. I hear from her less often, and in less detail, but she also seems to be having an amazing time. Seeing them have such a fulfilling first few months is making me all the more ready to begin my own Peace Corps experience.

It's been about a month since I recieved my invitation. In that month, I've been "busy" trying to get things in order: my finances, my travel arrangements, my passport issue (more to come on that later), my packing, my Swahili. I've, so far, put in about 30 hours on Rosetta Stone and can get my basic needs across in Swahili. That's a good start, and I'm sure I will build on it when I arrive. In the last month, I've moved out of my apartment, stopped working at the lab, started studying Physics, and starting spending a lot more time with my family (I am increasingly realizing how much I will miss them), and started shopping/packing.

It's been a little over 2 weeks since the passport fiasco. I have not heard back from the Peace Corps, saying that I messed up again. It took about a week and a half for them to tell me I messed up the first time, so I'm assuming everythings OK there. Thank God.

And most exciting: there's about 2 and a half weeks until I leave for Staging. And then, 2 weeks from today, I will be arriving in Tanzania. I am preparing for a trying 2 weeks. I need to finish packing and shopping. I need to learn Physics. I need to say good-bye. Thus far, I've said good-bye to Brian and Scotty (I'm counting their leaving as good-byes), my bird, and Tyrone(my roommate's dog). Those three good-byes were hard. I can't imagine how difficult it will be to say good-bye to my family. Brian was so strong when he left: I hope I can muster up half that much strength.

All that being said, can you tell the I am getting nervous? I am so excited, but am also beginning to realize the depth of this experience. I know I am strong, and that I can do this, and that I will enjoy it. I know this is what I want. I just need to take the plunge. To put it into an analogy that probably only my family will understand: I am that 10 year old girl at the Upper Falls, wanting to jump off that little cliff more than anything. And when I get to the edge the cliff, I get really nervous. And then once I jump, and come back up from the water, I realize that I'm still alive and am so happy that I jumped. And I loved it. And anyone that knows me now, knows I like jumping off of tall things, or doing bungee-jumping slingshots in FL, or jumping out of airplanes, or ziplining/rappelling. This is the same thing. Now that I'm on the edge of the cliff, I just need to let go and jump. And from there, everything will work itself out.

So maybe I can sleep now.